Black Coffee: Please

April 13, 2015 Today is Monday and I woke up around 5:30am, put on "sleepless in Seattle," and had some coffee. I have massive cramps and a toothache and I am suppose to do a moving job. So I decided to seek out something creative like writing to create some serenity. Yesterday night I had a vivid dream about an orca and looked up its meaning this morning. There are many ways to interpret a dream. But orcas are spiritual mammals. They are black & white, which can symbolize that not everything is black & white. That certainly holds true for this toothache I am experiencing. Any who I came in early for this moving company called: "Meathead's Movers" that I'm working with. So for the time being I am killing time at the coffee shop. I wish to have serenity in my life. But it's hard, because I need to pay rent and be responsible. My girlfriend drives me nuts even when it's not my time of month. I don't know if I'm just sensitive or she's just emotionally abusive. For example, yesterday she tried to teach my stick shift, since I've never driven a manual before. And it was so stressful. She was yelling about clutch this and clutch that. She was really upset and it was hard to learn how to drive with that kind of energy. I need to learn how to handle that emotional abuse and stand up for myself. My mode of attack was to walk and away. The thing is I am still repressed and upset (I slept on the couch last night). I really feel like my girlfriend brings me down. Granted she is in some kind of chronic pain herself--so that can take a toil. But my tooth hurts and I have to help a bunch of beef cakes move. I have no idea what the future holds, all I know is a find a little bit of solace is writing/blogging. I am just hoping that I find some balance so I can be my loving and creative self. And writing has totally helped me with that and for that I am grateful. Have a beautiful moment everybody.