The Run In

Yesterday, I went to an Alcoholic Anonymous women's meeting. I've been before but it's been a few months. It was strange because when I arrived there were no seats in the circular table, except one and it was by a younger women. So I kindly asked if I could sit their-- she replied 'yes.' But she looked familiar-- it was 'my ex girlfriends, girlfriend.' How Funny? I went to see my ex in Florida around Christmas 2014 and we had an affair. I had a dream about her, lets call her Mandy. And I was with my partner and she was with her partner. Clearly Mandy and I wanted to play with fire. And Mandy is in a long distance relationship, so it's unconventional. I live with my partner but some crazy family things were happening and I couldn't get over this dream about Mandy (or feeling,) it felt so synchronistic. 

I spontaneously flew to Florida-- while trying to keep it a secret from my partner. Hence the playing with fire- she found out when my plane landed in Fort Lauderdale. I don't think Mandy ever told her girlfriend. So having a reserved seat like that by her gf was strange and brought up a bunch of feelings. And luckily Mandy I don't talk regularly, because that would of just made it more awkward. I guess you could say it's painful to analyze my wreckage that was sitting next to me at a meeting. I mean what better place than run into someone than a meeting. I knew this would happen too, being freaked that the universe has a sense of humor. I had to get my mind off from the strange air it left behind, so naturally I went to a gay bar. I knew it was karaoke night and knew the lady in charge of karaoke night. I also met her at an aa meeting, yup you can run into literally 'anyone. At these meetings.

Let me address why I'm at a meeting as best I can-- I sobered up 4 years ago but also relapsed and changed my sober birthday to October 2014. When you get sober and toy with the idea, hey maybe I'm not a drunk, maybe I just needed a break. I tried and came to the conclusion I needed to relapse...to learn even more about alcoholism. Years ago, granted I'm 29 now, but in the past I use to go karaoke at the gay bar 'highly intoxicated.' It was a blast. But one night I decided to grab the microphone when it wasn't my turn and say: 'suck my dick ' to the crowd & got into trouble by the lady that hosted karaoke night (same one now). Who eventually becomes my 'ex-sponsor' aa--lets call her Nancy. Seeing Nancy brought up a lot of memories too, which is why I wanted to see her. I naturally said hi to her while she was working. She asked if I was sober and tried to smell me, 'yes I said- drinking club soda' and thought wow 'she's one rude supportively-spiritual person.' Even though it's non of her business. On another note-I think she hates womyn or something. Why else does she go to co-ed aa meetings still? Let me tell you about co-ed meetings, oh the coffee, donuts and the men; too many men in one space is what I say, which is why I've taken a break from those 'sausage fests.' I opt for the ladies or step meetings. Way more comfortable until you're running into your ex's, now girlfriend. It may not sound weird but from my perception it was surreal.

Thank goddess for the gay bars and aa meetings. To rock you to the 4^th- dimension. 



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